Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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