even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize