Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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