TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
