Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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