just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize