yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
