Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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