p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
