How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
