I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
time to smoke my breakfast
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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