I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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