im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
