I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
