dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
