and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
