And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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