After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize