I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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