Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
