just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
