i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
