I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I am mentally ready for anal.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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