Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize