never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
