for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
