My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
