He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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