Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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