Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize