The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
