his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
