That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
