So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
