You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize