Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
