Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
