You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize