You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
