ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
