saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
