I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
