is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize