we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
