The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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