East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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