And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
