Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
