The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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