That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
