i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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