yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
