apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
