Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
