No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
