can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
