hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
