I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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