Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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