I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
